“Wil Wheaton says, ‘Don’t be a dick!’”
You’re going to say, “Holy fuck, he’s picking on Wil Wheaton, the coolest geek ever.” Or you might say, “Who the fuck is Wil Wheaton?” Either way, listen up and pay attention.
I don’t like Wil Wheaton. It’s not that he’s stupid or has wronged me in some way. I don’t like Wil Wheaton because he is the author of “what to expect if you follow me on twitter (or: how I’m going to disappoint you in 6 quick steps)“, which subsequently makes him a self-righteous prig. Yes, I said prig.
Let’s examine this masterpiece.
“the number of people who read my stupid messages on Twitter has exploded by several thousand in just the last few days”
Today, there are actually 915,714 followers of his. That’s more than the original Jesus Christ. Nice work.
I bet a lot of them don’t read my blog, and only know me as Gordie LaChance or Wesley Crusher, or the gangly kid who played those characters and was a lot more concerned about whether girls liked him than he was being honest and true to himself
First, who the fuck cares if they read your blog, or know you as your FAMOUS TV CHARACTER, asshole? You think these people follow you because they randomly pick strangers to follow on Twitter? I’d say you’re more well known for your TV personalities of the past than you are for your relatively obscure literary contributions to Information Technology. Appreciate the fact that at least a half a million of those people give a shit about your life, which is more than most people can say.
The problem with being in the public eye is that the media always filters everything you do, highlights every stupid mistake you make, and aren’t as interested in showing people what you’re really like as they are in printing the story that will sell the most papers
Honestly, Wil, most “people” don’t give a shit who you are in real life. If you’re in the limelight, they want what they see on TV. How do you not know this by now?
I’m not going to tell you what Twitter is, or how you should use it
Hm, ok, thanks. I won’t tell you what a vagina is, or how you should use it, either. Fair’s fair.
Now, having said that, if you plan to follow me on Twitter, here are some things you should probably know, so you know what to expect from me
Holy shit, are you fucking serious? You have TWITTER RULES? That’s like the bitchy cheerleader in high school that had “rules” for dating her. How narcissistic of you.
I’m probably not going to follow you
That’s cool. I mean, the person reading your blog might be a really nice person, or the fucking Pope or Dalai Lama or something, so that’s good that you lower those expectations right off the bat. You wouldn’t want to accept the wrong person into your circle, after all.
4. There is no number four.
Yes there is, because you put it there as part of your OL tag, dumb ass. Saying it’s not there doesn’t make it not there.
If you’re expecting some kind of weird “celebrity” experience, I’m not your guy, and this is where some of you can point and scoff and pat yourselves on the back for saying, “Dude, you’re not a celebrity! Hurr hurr hurr.
Okay, first off, you ARE a celebrity, like it or not. You were on TV and you have a fucking Wiki page. Let me put it this way. My father, a Physics PhD, retired Air Force Colonel, decorated Vietnam Veteran and last Squadron Commander of a famous reconnaissance squadron which had been around since the second World War was denied the Wikipedia page I submitted for him because he “wasn’t relevant enough”. So congrats, Wil, your minor roles in a Sci-Fi TV show have made you more relevant than him. Now suck it up and stop being a douche bag to your fans.
it’s overwhelming, really cool, and a little scary that there are about 53,000 people following me on Twitter
Most bloggers/twitterers would give their left nut to have your “problems”, Wil.
I’m not Gordie and I’m not Wesley. I’m Wil. Please show me the courtesy of using my real name, not the name of some guy you saw in a theater or on TV 20 years ago
That’s the only way you’re real to some people, Wil. That’s the only reason you’re even relevant to the world now. You think your books sell because you’re the next fucking Vonnegut? Don’t hate where you came from, and stop being a dick to people who need you to be that person.
That was really tough to write, because I’m so afraid of coming off wrong, or being misunderstood. Well, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, right? I will just hope that this is received in the way it was intended, and not the other way.
I didn’t take it the wrong way at all. No, really. After reading a great number of your posts on Slashdot, a marginally large number of your blog posts, and now, a smattering of your Tweets, I think you are as self-righteous, egotistical and prickish as any MAJOR Hollywood erudite, and just precisely what I’ve come to expect from any talking head transmitting from the West Coast.
I sure hope this post didn’t make me come off sounding like an asshole!
Oh, wait, I AM an asshole. At least I’m honest with myself. And my three fans.
Congratulations, Wil. When I was a kid, I wanted to be like you, but now, you’re just #3 on The List.
October 13th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Wow. Who the hell pissed in your corn flakes? If Wil doesn’t bother you and you couldn’t care less about him, then why even bother to bash the guy?
You’re main gripe with him is about what he posted on his Twitter account, but if you ever bothered to read his blog (as you said you have) you would know that he does interact with his fans on WWdN.
You see, there’s a really simple solution to all of your so-called problems with Wil Wheaton. Just don’t go to his site, avoid reading his columns and remove him from your Twitter feed. Nobody’s forcing Wil Wheaton down your throat, man.
October 13th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
Right, and I think my commentary mirrors exactly your feelings, or, at least, what I expected his fans’ feelings would look like. I expected your response, and, in response to your response, I’m doing just as you suggested; I’m not visiting his blog. That does not, however, prohibit me from a commentary about how I felt (and still feel) about his particular blend of hypocrisy and elitism. Thanks for your comments, though. Enjoy your stay, and please be sure to read the “About” section so you are up to speed on how I feel about guests here.