Member #2
“We believe that people, where they can be compassionate, should be, for all animals,” PETA spokesman Bruce Freidrich explained.
Bruce, it’s not enough that you’re a sniveling mouthpiece for a radical leftist media whore like PETA, you’re also a Catholic Vegan. How many ridiculous causes can you become a part of to get media publicity? Do you even believe the horse shit that you’re spewing? I’m gonna seriously doubt it, or, alternatively, you have, like many pathological liars, become convinced that you actually believe in what you are ejaculating from your gum flaps.
The good news is that due to your “diet of modern convenience” (you know, the one where the only reason you eat what you do and survive is because of the miracle of modern fucking technology) your deficiencies will gradually get passed on through the generations, and your offspring, if they can have any after a few generations, will get weaker and weaker until they just stop being relevant to the gene pool.
On a final note, before I append you to The List, congratulations on Phi Beta Kappa at Grinnell. With that, you are now 100% qualified to be a waiter at TGIFriday’s. Or a spokesperson for PETA. On second thought, no, I don’t want to lump you in with TGIFriday’s waiters. Those people’s jobs are actually meaningful.
