Mar 9

It was cold outside. Not Minnesota or North Dakota frigid arctic cold, but wet, humid cold, the kind that leaks in through any open place in your body and makes one miserable. He had dressed to keep the temperature at bay; leather gloves and pants, a zippered vest overlaid with an old Navy BDU jacket and a black watch cap. He looked all the part of the loner, lost veteran or token homeless person, and that was exactly how he intended to look. He didn’t want to just go unobserved; he wanted to look like a person that people would intentionally look away from. Nobody paid attention to the homeless or the destitute. Not in this neighborhood. Not these days.

He had parked his rusty 1989 Honda Civic about a mile away from his ultimate destination. He would walk-shuffle the rest of the distance in beaten-down Boondocker boots that hardly had any tread left on them. Inside his car under the dim glow of a sodium-vapor lamp he checked his weapon. It was a small 9mm pistol that had been fitted with a silencer. He removed the magazine and diligently pressed fifteen rounds into the clip. It held sixteen. The last round he held between his thumb and forefinger, examining it carefully in the pale yellow light. The brass glinted back at him dully. He’d only need this one if he did his work correctly. Removing a small pocketknife from his pants, he unfolded it and shakily scraped into the side of the round: “C.A.S 2006”. Satisfied, he pushed the round into the magazine and chambered it.

The house, if you could call it that, was easy enough to find. In this dark, forgotten neighborhood of fugitives, former sex offenders and crack addicts a house was little more than a still standing structure that masked the horrors of within from the glancing eyes of the outside. It had taken him just under an hour to amble in a seemingly aimless pattern toward it. He passed sleeping bums, wandering prostitutes and the occasional common citizen without notice.

The house was one story, surrounded by a rotten wood fence that was progressively falling inward. Withered weeds and mildew covered the walk. The house itself was dark, made of tongue-and-grooved timber that had been painted a multitude of colors over its fifty-some years of existence. The roof sagged tiredly and the front porch had long given up its battle against gravity, having been propped up by a smattering of broken concrete cinderblocks.

He stood across the street from the house, keeping an eye on it and swaying intentionally to give the common passerby the idea he was drunk or stoned or both. It was convincing enough; nobody gave him a second glance.

He sucked in a deep breath through his teeth. His heart rate had already increased. He focused his breathing to keep his nerves down.

All seemed suddenly still.

He walked with careful, deliberate steps around the side of the house to an area shielded from the light of the yellow street lamps. Nobody would see him unless they were looking for him, and this neighborhood was already passed out in a drunken or drug-induced stupor.

He walked slowly, like his father had taught him when hunting, with deliberate, smooth steps, so as not to make any noise. He lurked in the darkness, letting his night vision adjust. He crept easily up toward the porch, onto it, and then toward the front door, the only entrance into the hovel.

The door was a rotten, sagging frame with cracked white paint flaking off from years of neglect. The knob was one of those old-time types; a tarnished brass knob with a skeleton keyhole beneath it. He placed his leather gloved hand on it and twisted. To his immense pleasure it turned with only a mild squeak and the door pushed inward with a muted squeal of tortured metal from the hinges.

This would be easier than he’d imagined.

He stood in the threshold, silhouetted only momentarily before disappearing into the dank recesses of the abode.

The fragrance of dust, mold, rot and the stench of human body odor filled his nose.

A ragged couch faced the door and he could see a human figure splayed out upon it, covered in a ratty blanket. The soft sound of snoring filled his heightened senses. He pushed the door closed slowly behind him, pausing before the metal met the hasp. The room was cloaked in near complete darkness.

He padded carefully over toward the couch to get a closer look at the figure asleep upon it. His right hand slid the pistol from the nylon holster that kept the firearm concealed in the small of his back while his left hand removed a small, folded photograph from the hip pocket of his BDU jacket.

He crept ever closer to the sleeping figure, holding the photo out in front of him to ensure he got a clean look.

His heart leapt into his throat as adrenaline gripped him. He breathed deeply, in through his nose, out through his mouth, silently calming his taut nerves.

The figure on the couch stirred lightly, rolling toward him. In the dusky light of the room he was able to get a clean look. He was the man in the photograph, undoubtedly. A prison tattoo of a tear dotted his cheek just to the right of his eye and a thin, greasy moustache invaded the space below his nose.

He held the pistol out, moved closer to the sleeping figure, and spoke.

“Wake up, Carlos.”

The man’s eyes shot open.

“Vindication.”, he whispered.

A single shot erupted silently from the muzzle of the 9mm pistol he held in his hand and hit the waking figure directly between the eyes. A halo of blood came out the back of his skull, and he slumped back against the couch, twitched momentarily, and then came to a final rest.

He watched carefully as the brass cartridge was ejected from the pistol. It hit the floor, bounced a few times, and then came to rest. He picked it up, and advanced on the corpse. He sheathed his pistol in his back holster, clumsily picked up the expended round with shaky hands, and knelt before the dead “Carlos”.

He dropped the expended shell into Carlos’ agape mouth, and used his right hand to shakily push his jaw shut.

He moved quickly out of the house, disappearing into the darkness like a silent specter.

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Feb 25

Its too cold in here,
To attempt to put words down.
Think I’ll drink instead.

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Feb 22

It was a battle. An ambidextrous, high-frontal-lobed mammal pitted against a wily, clever, tenacious outdoor creature. Procyon. That is an amazing name for a creature. Far better than “Homo Sapiens Sapiens”.

Fucking Procyon. That’s the name of a constellation. That is grandiose and inspiring. I’m not named after a constellation, but I was born with a thumb and the ability to use tools.

Some creatures just possess a dew claw. Poor Procyon did, but it was not a match for the thumb, nor the prominent lobe, but did she ever fight! I would find that she had more strength and temerity than I ever had.

I have an outdoor cat that is 7 years old. I named her Minerva, the symbol of “Wisdom”, and because we name all of my cats after deities and muses. It makes them more interesting.

Minerva eats outside, and that undoubtedly attracts other ancillary creatures, among which have included rats, cats, serpents, lizards, Avians, and, of course, Procyon. They ate the most, and often antagonized Minerva. I supposed them to be little more than pests, worthy of insignificant death.

So I devised a trap: a laundry basket, upon which rested a lead-acid battery. It was all suspended with nylon rope from an aluminum ladder which spanned over a back patio covering of pressure treated four by fours. It was a beautifully simple and harmless trap. A long strand of nylon rope, tied to the door knob, would be manually operated to drop the weighted basket upon the hapless victim.

How was I alerted to their presence? Oh, we clever Homo Sapiens Sapiens! I had a wireless FM transmitter that was attached to a motion detector. It alerted me to the presence of any creature larger than Lady Minerva, for I had “taught” it of her infrared “footprint”.

In the wee hours of the morning the transmitter alerted me. I woke, and quickly sprung the trap. The basket fell. The battery held the basket to the earth by gravity, its leaden weight trapping Procyon beneath. I was the most clever. Victory was mine.

But how to dispatch my foe?

Aha, but I had a plan. Surely the rage and din of a firearm would be unappreciated in my suburban neighborhood. Luckily, I was an expert, or so I presumed, with a compound bow.

I drew, I aimed, I loosed. Violence ensued from the power of the arrow, and Procyon was mortally hit, but it was not immediately fatal. A primal screaming ensued. It was so sad and horrible and pet-like. I wished it would die more quickly. I intended to hurry it to its fate.

I drew, I aimed, I loosed another. The arrow screamed silently from the nock, powering into the creature with a solid strike. I knew this was another mortal blow. Surely the creature would die quickly with two arrows spanning her entire body?

I watched as blood seeped from the basket in gouts. It was finally dying. Surely with two critical wounds it would pass soon.

I went inside and poured a whiskey. I drank it in a sip. My hands were shaky, which was odd. I was a good, experienced hunter of mammals, and I had never felt this way about any kill.

It had been thirty minutes. It was time to skin Procyon.

I nocked another arrow, just in case, and kicked over the basket.

Procyon was still alive. Imagine my surprise!

Imagine her surprise?

It fled, like any terrified creature would. I was faster, and more accurate, because I’d been taught and trained to be for most of my life.

I loosed my third arrow and watched as the escapee fled toward the fence. The violent arrow was true and faster and pinned Procyon to the ground through its shoulders. It should have been another fatal blow, but I was learning that Procyon is an immensely tenacious creature.

It hissed and growled like a wild animal, pinned to the ground. It hurt my heart to hear it suffer because it had been such a worthy adversary. This was not what I had wanted. It was mortally wounded, but I had to kill it quickly so as to avoid more suffering. To avoid any more guilt, or shame.

It should have gone gently into that good night. But it must have read Dylan Thomas.

I had no more arrows. I was not Robin Hood. This wasn’t like the movies.

I only had my broadsword, but it was inside.

I rushed indoors and grabbed it off its brass stand. It was razor sharp and made from light carbon steel. I had bought it from a Renaissance Faire because it was classically designed and handmade.

Outside, it took three swings to dash Procyon’s head from its shoulders. No matter what movies show, swords seldom rend flesh in a single blow. Her body writhed and twitched involuntarily.

Finally, she was still.

Procyon was dead. Deer have fallen before me with fewer struggles. Caribou have fallen before my rifle with less tragedy. This was a creature to be honored.

In the wee hours of the morning I carefully removed her skin from her body. It was a tedious task. It took hours and many trips to the whet stone with a concerted effort, but finally her skin was whole and in my hand.

Her broken body was donated back to nature by me. The turkey vultures and the crows and the snakes feasted, growing, nurturing their young with my…her…offering. Their cycle continues because of my provision.

The hide was mine. A memory of a tenacious, powerful creature that faced down someone five times her size and lost, but went down fighting. I held it in respect and esteem.

I can only hope for such a death.

Will I be that strong at my demise?

Will you?

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Jan 26

theory

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Jan 11

funny-facebook-luke-single
see more funny facebook stuff!

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